We take a lot of abuse around here; in this "Ah'll do whut Ah WAWNT" society, people don't like it when the details of their antics come to light, and frequently, they'll turn on us and send us abusive missives which, for the most part we ignore (including threats, as you can't take these dweebs seriously anyway).
Occasionally, these mental midgets are so hung up on themselves and/or their mission du jour that they provide full-scale entertainment for us, so much so that we opt to bring it to you, our sensible readers.
On Friday (December 18), as we were getting ready to hit Kroger for a big fruit-and-vegetable run (we juice most of them, for health purposes), we were stalled getting out the door by a message from one Megan Martin on the backside of our Facebook page, which went thusly:
Ms. MeganMoo, as her Fecesbook url says (it really does; hit it; I like poking fun at the chubsters but you can't make this stuff up), is referencing an article in the current edition, all 400 words of it, Wife held against her will at Dolan Lake, which we appreciate, as it provides us with the opportunity to present to you a Read the Lead:
HAMILTON CO.— A McLeansboro man has been charged with violence after authorities say he refused to allow a woman out of his camper at Dolan Lake State Park.
According to court documents, on November 27, Billie Webb, 27, who gave an address of Dolan Lake State Park, Campground Lot 10, committed the offense of Domestic Battery when he hit Teri J. Webb in the face with his hands.
He is also charged with a single count of Unlawful Restraint with authorities alleging that he detained Teri Webb against her will by forcing her to remain in his camper and not allow her to use the phone.
Read the rest by hitting the headline link if you have an online membership to the e-Edition; if you don't, it'll take you to the signup page so you can get on there and see what all the fuss is about.
Anyway.
Here's the rest of it:
So she's saying that her sister is lying...? the mind boggles.
But wait. It gets worse.
False documents? What has this kid been watching on TV?
Anyway, we turned the computer off because we were headed out the door and that was the last of the exchange. Here's the judici link in case you're interested in seeing what Mr. Webb was actually charged with and Oh! yep. There's unlawful restraint right there in Count 2.
I'd like to chalk it up to MeganMoo having watched too many true crime stories on TV and thinking that "unlawful restraint" means bound and gagged and tied to an immobile object for long stretches of time, unfed, unwatered, unpottied, etc. In Illinois, however, it doesn't have to rise to that. It can simply mean that at one point, Teri Webb (the sister in question) attempted to get out of the camper/trailer/residence/tent/whatever, and Billie Webb blocked her way. Once is all it takes; that's "unlawful restraint." Maybe MeganMoo is now cringing because she's experienced that a time or two...? Who knows. Anyway.
It's not "false documents." It's in the courthouse. You can go view it same as we do, MeganMoo. I challenge you to go up to prosecutor Justin Hood and get as nasty to him in person as you did to us on Fecesbook.
It'll give us something else to write about coming out of Hamilton County for next month.