Pair on probation can’t seem to pee straight

LAWRENCE CO.— While there appears to be a serious crackdown on meth cooks and their pill shoppers, also known as “mules,” there doesn’t seem to be a lack of individuals willing to step up and become involved in the manufacture of the drug.

A Bicknell, Ind., man with St. Francisville ties has found himself not only in his old stomping ground but quite likely in his old cell.

Mark Anthony Baughn, Jr., 35, has been jailed on a charge that alleges he knowingly participated in the manufacture of methamphetamine less than 15 grams on February 5 while at 11th and Charles streets in Lawrenceville.

He was also charged with Unlawful Possession of Methamphetamine less than five grams.

Baughn is a convicted dope punk from 2001 when he was convicted of Unlawful Possession of a Controlled Substance (prescription medication) for which he was sentenced to one year in the Illinois Department of Corrections.

Apparently too low-brow to learn much from his first stint living in a cage, Baughn was convicted again in 2003 of Unlawful Possession of a Controlled Substance (prescription medication) and Aggravated Fleeing Police, for which he was sentenced to two years probation and ordered to pay $2,898 in fines and fees.

Not only did he screw that up in 2005 and earn himself another two years probation, but he still owes $1,105 in fines and fees.

By all accounts it looks like Mark Anthony could be headed back for several years of being housed with several hundred sweaty men.

Cash bond in Junior Baughn’s case has been set at $10,000.

Can’t even piss straight

And then you have your dopers who are so dead set against getting clean that they can’t even pee straight—literally.

First there is Royce L. Phillips, age 20, of Clay City, who was convicted January 6 of one count of Unlawful Possession of Drug Paraphernalia and sentenced to one year probation and ordered to pay $1,577 in fines and fees, of which he still owes $927.

Not only can’t Phillips not pay his fines and fees but it appears he can’t pee in a cup without getting into trouble either.

Mr. Phillips has been charged with Unlawful Defrauding Drug Screening Tests after authorities say he recently attempted to substitute a urine sample during a drug test.

Presumably the substitution was made because Mr. Phillips knew he would not come back clean and would as a result end up in jail.

And if all that isn’t bad enough, Royce L. Phillips was charged June 28, 2013 in Clay County with Criminal Sexual Abuse of a victim 15 years of age or younger.

Why that sex abuse case in Clay has languished is unknown.

Phillips was released from Lawrence County custody Jan. 30 after a $1,000 cash bond was posted on his behalf by Jerry Mayo.

On his bond sheet, Phillips listed 1410 5th St., Lawrenceville as his address.

Urine identity crisis

The second individual suffering from an apparent urine identity crisis is one Douglas Crow, age 53, of 1318 Nicholas St., Vincennes.

It appears that Mr. Crow, who should be old enough to know better (but then stupid knows no age limit), also substituted his urine for that of someone willing to give up their pee to him and tried to foil a drug test on Feb. 11.

Crow, one of those convicted meth felons that infest this part of the world, was sentenced May 9, 2014 after being found guilty of Unlawful Possession of Meth less than five grams.

It is not clear exactly how the probation department figured out the two men faked their drug screen, as it is unlikely their urine came back showing the either of the men pregnant or were actually of a species of bovine.

Whatever the case, they are both expected to find their way into a courtroom in the within the next month.